Plant Diaries (Day 53) 15 August 2013

Day 50 has come and gone.  I was planning a big celebration for the thriving plant-community's big half a century (of days), but unfortunately honours studying has engulfed every facets of life.  I could live with not leaving the house, or failing to keep up with minimum hygiene requirements or even the complete fun-embargo that has been my last two months, but missing those guys' 50th anniversary is unacceptable.

At least when a father misses his daughter's ballet recital he can blame his job, the bottle, or his mistress and all is forgotten (or at least repressed) when little Suzy comes home to find a new furry teddy bear waiting on her bed.  But what are plants going to do with a teddy bear? At just 50 days old (and because they are plants), how am I supposed to explain to them that I'm studying to give them a life I never had, that I am working so they don't have to.  I am only doing it so unlike me, they can spend all day in a pot, maybe even a bigger pot, with a tiny wooden windmill.  If it were up to me, I would be in the pot with them, rather than learning how to determine the probability distribution of a stock that follows a normal probability distribution.

But thankfully, unlike little Suzy, the plants do not hold grudges, nor do they demand fancy doll houses or unicorns.  Their demands are ever-constant and simple, water and sun and a little Barry White on the weekends.  They don't bitch or scream or wee in the bed, but instead grow into majestic beautiful plants, filling an barren pot with a lush garden.  Oh and grow they have.

In keeping with its over-achieving nature, Parsley is far ahead in the development.  Parsley is like that 10-year old who is the first to get a moustache (damn he was so cool, all the girls wanted to be with him). 


Little 'Parsley-looking' leaves are sprouting from has come to be known as the Parsley thicket.  Perhaps I was imagining that the plants would suddenly turn into Parsley, but now I can see how this is going down and am happy I am part of the journey.

While Parsley continues is domination of the land of the pot plant, Marjoram seems to have reinforced its claim as a strong and legitimate opposition (essential for any functioning democracy).  While Parsley may not like it, Marjoram has Zille'd the minority vote and present a realistic alternative to Parsley's authoritarian and repressive policies.

It seems that the reserve seedlings have grown at a somewhat rapid rate and formed what has now become Lindiwe Mazibuko forest.

 

Spinach has decided not to get directly involved in all the hush push, but maintained a Switzerland-like policy of neutrality and continues to progress as an independent.  What is astonishing is that out of two seeds that I planted, there are four plants.  Obviously Spinach isn't a one-seed one-plant kinda guy.

You may be wondering why there has been no mention of peppers.  Frankly, it has not done much and has been quite sucky.  As mediocrity is not celebrated in pot plant culture, it gets neither a significant mention, nor a picture.  But don't worry it has had a stern talking to and promised to pull its socks up (only metaphorical socks, it does not have actual socks, remember it is just a plant).

I end of with a thought.  Why do they make toasters with 6 different levels of disappointment? Either the bread comes out only slightly warmer or black.  Slighter warmer bread or burn toast serves no purpose.  The toaster has a single function, to make bread into toast.  Surely everyone would be happy with one option - toast?