Alas, the time for harvest is not yet upon the fair inhabitants of the pot. The packet (of all knowledge) which the parsley seeds came from said that one could expect to be having a parsley party 70-80 days from planting. Obviously I am paraphrasing, it actually said "In 70-80 days you'll have enough parsley to stuff a camel".
Sadly my parsley is not near picking. The truth is that I don't actually know when the parsley is ready for picking. While those who know me will already be aware that I do not advocate dirty empty western labels, so who am I to deem when the herb is fully mature, ready to leave the only place its known as home, or that it's ready to be picked and made into a lovely soup or used as a delicately placed and tasteful garnish. However, I accept that in certain extreme circumstances, like the one I presently find myself in, dirty-hippie antics are counter-productive.
They say that the real gardener will just know when the time is right, apparently its a tingling feeling you get running up your legs, that same primal feeling you get when you hunting a mammoth (woolly of course). You feel it in your being. You look at the plant. The plant looks back. And both you know that tonight there is going to be some picking.
Some stalks give the impression that they are ready for a pick, but you don't want to go to soon. 3 out of every 7 gardeners suffer from premature picking and no matter what excuse you use (stress/you weren't concentrating/the dog was watching), once you have picked there's really no coming back. So for now I wait, patiently, for a sign, any sign, even a stop sign.
Marjoram on the other hand still has some time to go. His packet says between 120-150 days . Truthfully, he is looking good, displaying all the signs of a healthy herb. Multi-leave protrusion per stalk; starting to emanate a herby kind of smell; and looks a casual faded green.
Peppers and spinach however are not doing the best and if they were children, would be classified as 'those who ride the small bus', or Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. After 95 days, spinach should be sprouting some serious foliage and peppers should, well, be doing something different. Instead, very little/no progression has been made on either front.
There are varied and wide-ranging theories among experts why this could be the case. Some believe the pot is just not big enough, to whom I say "Come over here and I shall you a pot that's big enough". While others hypothesize that the sun/shade ratio is inversely skewed. To them I say nothing, cause they are racists. Others still reckon that spinach is a winter blooming plant and peppers are only grown in the lowveld (I made this last one up. Completely untrue. I have no idea why its not growing). And to these people I simply send SMSs to their parents, telling them that their behaviour has become erratic and that as a friend, I suspect drug use - that'll show those people to stick their noses I other people's business, throwing around wafty naysays.
The truth is I don't know why these guys aren't performing to their potential. It could be me, I could be useless, a good-for-nothing, maybe its the weather, perhaps spinach hates parsley and has gone on a hunger strike. All in all I think a trip to the nursery is due for some expert advice.
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